...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
