But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
