I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
