remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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