im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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