I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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