Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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