All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
