I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
