I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
