nut hugger
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sarcasm needs its own font
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
