when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
