Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
