I heard we made out
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize