i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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