WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
