this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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