he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
