did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
