my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
