This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
