i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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