I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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