Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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