That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
