It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Banned from zoo.
Again?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Two words: blizzard sex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
