ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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