Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
