Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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