I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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