I'm lost and stupid without you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
