I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize