I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we're so committed to being not committed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
