no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
