You're a womanizer and a bitch.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
