we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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