After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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