I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
