tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I believe in your delicious
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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