Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
