Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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