oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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