Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
