i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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