Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize