i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
