so that wasnt chicken after all
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
