I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
