You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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