Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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