Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize