I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
