it was like his penis was on wheels.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
