btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
