You're completely useless in the revolution.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
