she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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