the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think your dad took our porno
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
