I think my vagina is haunted
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
