i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And then he peed in my hair
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